Confessions of a Data Analyst: Tales from the Spreadsheet Trenches
Being a data analyst is like being a detective, but instead of solving crimes, we solve mysteries like:
- Why does this Excel file have 1,024 sheets?
- Who changed the column name from
RevenuetoRevnue… in production? - Why is the sum of the parts greater than the total?
Here’s a typical day in the life:
Morning
- Coffee ☕
- Open SQL, Python, and Excel all at once (because why not juggle three languages before 9 AM?)
- Realize the database has missing values. Panic ensues.
Midday
- Dashboards, charts, and graphs!
- Spend 45 minutes deciding if a bar chart should be horizontal or vertical.
- Coworker asks: “Can you make it pop?”
- Me: Sure… with rainbow colors and Comic Sans?
Afternoon
- Data cleaning: the never-ending story.
- Convert
N/A,null,-,missing, and???into actual NULL values. - Write a SQL query so elegant, it deserves a Nobel Prize.
Evening
- Review reports, send emails, feel accomplished.
- Realize you forgot to update the date filter. All charts are wrong.
- Cry a little.
- Repeat tomorrow.
Being a data analyst isn’t just numbers, charts, or queries. It’s patience, humor, and a love for finding answers where others see chaos.
Remember: behind every clean dataset, there’s a data analyst silently praying that no one asks “Why are these numbers slightly off?”