Confessions of a Data Analyst: Tales from the Spreadsheet Trenches
Being a data analyst is like being a detective, but instead of solving crimes, we solve mysteries like:
Why does this Excel file have 1,024 sheets? Who changed the column name from Revenue to Revnue… in production? Why is the sum of the parts greater than the total? Here’s a typical day in the life:
Morning Coffee ☕ Open SQL, Python, and Excel all at once (because why not juggle three languages before 9 AM?) Realize the database has missing values. Panic ensues. Midday Dashboards, charts, and graphs! Spend 45 minutes deciding if a bar chart should be horizontal or vertical. Coworker asks: “Can you make it pop?” Me: Sure… with rainbow colors and Comic Sans? Afternoon Data cleaning: the never-ending story. Convert N/A, null, -, missing, and ??? into actual NULL values. Write a SQL query so elegant, it deserves a Nobel Prize. Evening Review reports, send emails, feel accomplished. Realize you forgot to update the date filter. All charts are wrong. Cry a little. Repeat tomorrow. Being a data analyst isn’t just numbers, charts, or queries. It’s patience, humor, and a love for finding answers where others see chaos.
